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Caroline: Why do you always have to prove you're the alpha male?!
Klaus: I don't have to prove anything, love. I AM the alpha male.
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Watson walks into the bathroom while Sherlock is brushing his teeth

Sherlock: If you wanna' use the toilet, I will just turn away. You didn't eat asparagus last night, did you?
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Listen to me! I love you! And I don’t care that Philip’s not my son. I will raise a hundred children with a hundred of your lovers if it means I can be with you.
- Dwight Schrute, The Office
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Not enough for me? You are… EVERYTHING.
- Jim Halpert to Pam Beesley, The Office
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84,299 notes
  
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I’m The Doctor, you’re nuts, and I’m gonna stop you.
- Doctor Who, The Crimson Horror
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*Mark and Whitney trying to figure out Alex' phone password*
Mark: I bet I know it. Whitney, type in 23 and 45. Michael Jordan's numbers. That's his password.
Whitney: *after trying* Nooo, it's not.
Mark: Of course it's not. It's 9-0-0-9.
Whitney: Why would it be 9-0-0-9?!
Alex: It's boob, upside down.
Alex: *to Mark* No.
Mark: I promise you.. I. Will crack. This code. I am a cop! I have nothing better to do.
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